Wowsers
Golly gee wiz, it sure has been a really long fucking time since I contributed anything to this site. To be honest it mostly has to do with the lack of comments regarding my sublime buttocks. Is it that hard to make me feel like the wild stallion I undoubtably am? I have never been uncomfortable with receiving compliments so dont let that stop you.
Recently I learned some things, one of them being that sitting in front of a computer typing mundane opinions about shitty movies is not all that rewarding. The second is that I live on the water. How and when did that fucking happen? I mean you would think it would be obvious to me that a mere 50 feet from my front door is a beach, I guess that really must give you an idea of how powerful the drugs I have taken are.
In reference to this whole living on the water thing, I have come to the realization that if I go outside for prolonged amounts of time you begin to notice things that the other ‘water people’ do, like the many different floating objects you can lay upon and drift aimlessly until you either run out of beer or your weed high starts to fade. Perhaps that chic in that movie where she isn’t being humped by vampires would like to join me while I float on stuff, I think this could happen because she always looks super high and I usually have weed and lets face it women with nice boobies don’t like to pay for weed.
That reminds me about the 3rd time I ever scored weed. I had interrupted my dealer and his woman getting it on (in the parlance of our times), so she ended up answering the door using her arm to shield her boobies, which was awesome. The story continues with the dealer being pretty preoccupied with his womans state of undress so he just kept scooping more and more weed into the baggie. So not only did I see some awesome boobies I also got the ever elusive buy one gram and get three for free deal, which actually doesn’t exist so don’t ask cause you’ll just get that look from Saul, you know Saul right, he sells weed.
Sidenote: About a year later that very same topless drug dealer girlfriend called me crying about how her man called her a coke whore due to her having sex with a guy who offered (which she accepted) her some cocaine. I let her do all the talking and weeping cause I was like 15 and had no idea what to say. So a week later she had me drop by her place to tell me how supportive I had been and that her breakup was for the best. A few minutes later she asked my opinion on some new clothes she had just bought ending the show with some panties which she insisted on modeling for me, they had little strawberries on them. For some reason they looked better on the floor. She was my first natural blonde. Without weed this never could have happened, hooray for weed.
So the moral of the story kids is that while computers are cool for masturbation and stealing songs they have yet to make a topless drug dealer chic appear out of nowhere and bone you big time for doing nothing but listening to her whine about stuff you forgot as soon as she hung up the phone. So get out there and do stuff, cause doing stuff is much better than writing about how Vegan vampires make no fucking sense.
PS: Do 20 yr old topless blonde girls that want to model underwear for me still exist? I sure hope so, cause I love strawberries…
