Unemployed Ben

Things I regret, well kind of, because of drugs and alcohol.

Vomiting in that girls bathtub.
The toilet just looked too small and the room was spinning. I hid what I had done with the shower curtain and never told anyone…until now.

Crashing that boat into the dock.
I don’t take the total blame for that as you made me keep drinking shots of tequila after I said I had had enough. Your insurance company paid for the damage but your rates went up.

Punching that girls boyfriend
Sorry but I thought he was being an ass and I kind of wanted to bone you. Plus that was only the second time that I had done some blow and mixing it with 12 tall boys was a bad idea.

Kicking that vans window in Vancouver
It was total peer pressure. All the other guys were smashing car windows and I became the odd man out. Normally I wouldn’t have done something like that but once again tequila played a big part.

Stealing Bob’s Full Sail Ale hat and then throwing it into the campfire
You dared me and since you’ve always been an asshole I went ahead and did it. Plus you never returned my Die Hard VHS tape and that always pissed me off.

Punching a hole in both a wall and door while I was a teenager
This I have found out since is normal, virtually every guy has admitted to doing this. Still I think I was the most surprised when the wall just sort of crumbled, luckily that art print covered it up while I recruited some friends to fix it.

Having sex with my ex girlfriends sister the day after I broke up with her
Not something I am proud of but I think all she wanted to do was make her sister mad and I was a willing particapant. My ex considered this cheating as she was sure we would be getting back together, which we did…for a weekend…valentines weekend. Yep I am a moron.

Crashing my Camaro
I was really quite stoned and heading down Alabama Hill on a very rainy day, when someone stopped mid hill and caused me and the caddy behind us to hydroplane. She hit the corner of my bumper and I spun into oncoming traffic doing a 360, I unbelievably didn’t get hit but had to restart my car and pull off to the side where I threw my film container of gonga out of the window. The person that started the whole thing was gone and after reviewing the damage, my car had only a small mark on my bumper, the Cadillac lady gave me her insurance and contact info (which turned out to be false). Did I cause the accident? No, but a sober person would have downshifted and avoided the whole thing. P.S. I went back and retrieved my stash after I realized cops wouldn’t be swarming the place.

To be continued…..